The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he puts the penis in happiness.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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