Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just had sex on a roof
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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