You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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