Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
