1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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