you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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