Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
