Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
