He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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