Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Damn victory sex feels great
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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