You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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