a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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