We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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