My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
