need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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