absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
