She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
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At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
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Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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