Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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