yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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