Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
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Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
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Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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