drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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