Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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