dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
