honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Randomize
