nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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