Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
