I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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