i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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