I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize