It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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