For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
