i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
3pm strippers are depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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