I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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