How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
