What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
