'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize