i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
