All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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