I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
