Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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