you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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