i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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