Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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