you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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