I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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