just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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