Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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