I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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