I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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