just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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