Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
