I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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