did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You ate ashes out of my bong
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
