Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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