Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
