soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
