windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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