there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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