trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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