I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
not ubering you a puppy
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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