Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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