Don't you send me to vm
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
it was like eating out sand paper
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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