I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
