How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
