and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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