false alarm. still invincible.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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