im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
